Yang Ke 75. Aku Masih Begini.

Muka Mengantuk. Comot.
Rambut Serabai. Tidak Mahu Potong.
Mata TIDAK Sepet.
Gigi Depan Membesar. Putih.
Misai Mula Menampakkan.
Tshirt Putih. Singlet Ada Lengan.
Cermin Mata Semakin Menghampiri Ajal.
Kipas Ligat Berpusing.
Pintu Almari Tidak Ditutup Sekian Lama.
Otak Kekanan 15 Darjah. Semakin Kreatif.
Pukul 1.54am Aku Masih Begini.
Hari Baru, Hari Sabtu, Hari Aku.
Hari-Hari, Selamat Hari-Hari.
Terima Kasih.

Kehidupan.

Bila aku gembira, aku cuba untuk gembirakan mereka.
Tetapi bila mereka gembira, kenapa mereka tidak gembirakan aku?

Bila aku nampak mereka bersedih, aku cuba untuk kurangkan sedihnya.
Tetapi bila aku bersedih, kenapa aku bersedih seorang diri?

Bila mereka berasa takut, aku cuba menenangkan mereka.
Tetapi bila aku berasa takut, kenapa tiada siapa disisiku?

Bila mereka tersepit, aku cuba mengurangkan kesempitan mereka.
Tetapi bila aku tersepit, kenapa mereka membiarkan aku kesempitan?

Bila mereka keseorangan, aku cuba untuk meluangkan masa dengannya.
Tetapi bila aku keseorangan, kenapa mereka lari jauh dari aku?

Bila mereka meminta pertolongan, aku akan tolong sedaya upayaku.
Tetapi, bila aku meminta pertolongan, kenapa mereka menolak?

Bila mereka ada masalah, aku cuba menjadi pendengar yang baik.
Tetapi bila aku ada masalah, kenapa mereka pekakkan telinga?

Aku juga seorang manusia biasa yang tidak akan pernah sempurna daripada
segala hal. Aku perlukan seseorang. Aku juga seorang manusia.

~aRiFF~ ©

WEDDING | Beware Of The Consequences

Before wedding -
"you are my heart, you are my love"

After wedding -
"you don't get on my nerve."

Before wedding -
"you are sweet and kind just like Cinderella"

After wedding -
"you are worse than godzila. "

Before wedding -
Roses are red, violets are blue
Like it or not, I'm stuck with you

After wedding -
Roses are dead, I am blue
You get on my head, I will sue you

Before wedding -
Every makan he brings you to Shangri-La

After wedding -
You want to go, he says lei tang-la

Before wedding -
She enjoys his looks

After wedding -
She enjoys his cheque book

Before wedding -
Shopping at Sogo, Lot 10 and StarHill

After wedding -
Shopping at Pasar Malam at Chow Kit

Before wedding -
She looks like Anita Sarawak

After wedding -
Don't know whether katak or biawak

Before wedding -
Weekends at Cameron, Genting and Fraser's Hill

After wedding -
Furthest you go is Gasing Hill

Before wedding -
He opens the car door

After wedding -
He opens his mouth and snores

Before wedding -
She / he was your ideal

After wedding -
She / he becomes your ordeal

Hahaha, then who want's to get married? ME!! :D

Only One Arm And One Leg.

This is a story about a soldier who return home from Vietnam War. He phone
his parents once he arrives in San Francisco.
"Mom, Dad. I'm coming home, but I've a favor to ask. I have a friend I'd
like to bring home with me."
"Sure," they replied, "we'd love to meet him."
"There's something you should know", the son continued, "He was hurt
pretty
bad in the war. He stepped on a land mine and lost an arm and a leg. He
has
no where to go, and I want him to come and live with us."
"I'm sorry to hear that, son. Maybe we can find somewhere for him."
"No! Mom, Dad, I want him to live with us."
"Son," said the father, "you don't know what you're asking. Someone with
such a handicap would be a terrible burden on us. We have our own lives to
live, and we can't let something like this interfere with our lives. I
think
you should just come home and forget about this guy. He'll find a way to
live on his own."
At that point, the son hung up the phone.
The parents heard nothing more from him. A few days later, they received a
call
from the San Francisco police. Their son had died after falling from a
building,
they were told. The police believed it was suicide. The grief-stricken
parents
flew to San Francisco and were taken to the city morgue to identify the
body
of their son.
They recognized him, but to their horror they also discovered something
they
didn't know, their son had only one arm and one leg.
_______________________________________________________

Think about it.

Kelas B & D | JPJ 11-02-2010

Semalam aku menghadirkan diri ke Pusat Latihan Metro yang terletak di Kampung Melayu Subang untuk melakukan ujian JPJ bagi KELAS B & D. Bagi yang belum mengetahui B bermaksud lesen motor dan D bermaksud lesen kereta. Harap Maklum :) Sampai di tempat kejadian pada pukul 8.30am. Ada 30minit lagi untuk aku relakskan diri.

Aku giliran yang ke-SEMBILAN

JPJ datang dengan muka comel agak kerek memberi kesemua mereka yang mengambil lesen motor sesi pertama tag giliran. Mujur aku dapat melakukannya dengan sedikit tenang walaupun muka dah tiada darah yang mengalir. Sangat sengal. Selesai trak dalam masa 3 minit. 9.45-9.48.

Aku giliran yang ke-TIGAPULUH

Sebelum itu, lihat masa sesi 3 pukul berapa? bandingkan dengan masa aku selesaikan motor. ada lebih 3jam dan aku hanya duduk dikantin selama itu. Abduh aku jumpa. Kawan baru juga aku dapat. Suraya Zupli. Semua ada agenda masing-masing. Lebih kurang pukul 2. Pacik Ali sampai membawa kawanku lagi, Sopi dan Aina Farzana. Kali ini dengan agenda yang sama iaitu mengambil ujian JPJ kereta. dapat berturut. Sopi 28, Aina 29, dan Aku 30. tentang mereka tidak perlu diceritakan. Aku, lepas bahagian 2. Tunggu kereta untuk ujian jalanraya. Dapat ViVa. Sangat smooth. Sampai aku selalu masuk gear lambat -.- Ku fikir manusia JPJ itu sudah kelaut, kurang mengendahkan caraku membawa kereta. Yang penting aku lulus. Terima kasih Pak. :D

Kesimpulannya : Aku lulus dan bakal mendapat P. Tidak perlu lagi berpura-pura ketika membawa kereta secara haram. haha :)

*Notes. : Aku kerja dan ambil lesen. Boleh sahaja selesaikan semuanya. Taknak seribu dalih.

Suamiku Seorang Programmer

suami: selamat malam sayang,sekarang saya "logged in"
isteri: Abang ada beli tak barang yang saya pesan tadi?
suami: "Bad Command or filename"
isteri: Tapi kan ke saya dah call abang pagi tadi kat pejabat suruh abang beli!
suami: "Errorneos Syntax.Abort?
isteri: Ish.Abang nih,takkan itu pon tak ingat?ha..abang kata tadi dalam telefon nak beli tv? mana dia
suami: "Variable not found"
isteri: Abang nih memang tak boleh harap la.Bak kat kredit abang biar saya pergi belikan dan shopping barang dapur sekali.
suami: "sharing violation.Access denied"
isteri: Abang nih tak sayang saya ke?abang lebih sayang komputer abang tu drpd saya.saya tak tahan la kalau macam ni selalu.
suami: "Too many parameters"
isteri: Saya menyesal pilih abang sebagai suami.harapkan muka jer ensem.
suami: "Data type mismatch"
isteri: Abang nih memang betul-betul tak berguna la.
suami: It's by default
isteri: macammana plak dgn gaji abang?
suami: "File in use"...Try Later.
isteri: Kalau begitu..apa peranan saya disisi abang sebagai seorang isteri?
suami: "Unknown virus"

Ada jugak manusia macam ini?

Can You Beat This Logic?

"A man and his wife were getting a divorce at a local court. But the
Custody of their children posed a problem.
The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since
she had brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of
them.

The man also wanted custody of his children. The judge asked for his
side of the story too. After a long moment of silence, the man rose from
his chair and replied:
"Judge, when I put a dollar into a vending machine, and a Pepsi
comes out, does the Pepsi belong to me or to the machine?"

Hah! :D